Intimate relationships come in so many shapes, and each story is unique. Some couples prefer the usual way, while others are always on a hunt for adventure or something more spicy. And there are also couples and individuals who prefer some of the extreme shapes of closeness and intimacy, called BDSM.
Many may already know that BDSM combines not four but six approaches in erotic practices. BD stands for Bondage & Discipline, DS for Domination & Submission, and SM is for Sadism & Masochism.
The whole idea behind BDSM is the occasional use of ropes, leather and latex costumes, and toys that cause pleasure with pain. In general, you can get an idea on what to use in BDSM at oddoleather, while tingling your fantasy for more.
It’s important to know that BDSM is not something everyone can do because it requires a physical and mental capacity to handle all those elements of dominance and sadism, no matter if you’re receiving them or giving them to the partner.
So, let’s take a look at the potential benefits of BDSM relationships.
Learning How to Connect With the Right People
Many consider BDSM as an allowance to ask anyone to have intercourse with them. Remember, those people who think BDSM is an open invitation for sex are completely wrong.
People who indeed know what it is and what it takes to feel pleasure aren’t like that. They know that even the dominance, sadism, and discipline are part of the play, while outside, they are like every other couple.
Being open to letting someone dominate you, or you to dominate someone by any means, means that you have the mental capacity to respect limits and set yours. Indeed, you can’t really do that with the wrong people by your side.
BDSM Relationship is Not the Same as Romantic Relationship
Being in a BDSM relationship doesn’t require being in a romantic relationship with the same person, too. There can be no emotional connection between both individuals who experiment and try new things. On the other hand, some couples who are already in a relationship try BDSM to spice up their sexual life.
Still, there are various misunderstandings that can be narrowed down to this list:
- It’s unhealthy to be in a BDSM relationship
- It all looks like a scene in 50 Shades of Gray
- BDSM is abusive
- Only people who were abused enjoy BDSM
- People who like BDSM are deviants and predators
- BDSM relationships must be based on emotional relationship
Yes, you’re allowed to have a BDSM relationship and have no daily chats and calls with that person. That way, you learn how to deal with unwanted emotions but also not to mistake any drop of attention for love and devotion.
You Learn More About Your Body
Everyone knows their body but rarely is anyone aware of limitations of any kind, especially mental and physical. Some BDSM actions cause pain, so you need to understand what pain brings pleasure and what is uncomfortable.
Your tolerance may vary, so make sure you are aware of each body part. Remember, letting someone dominate you mentally and physically means you give your body to them, as well as your mind. It’s a complex approach that requires mental strength, dedication, and openness to experimenting.
Setting Limits and Not Negotiating Them
One of the most appreciated BDSM-related skills is learning to respect your limits and never give up on them. As we said, there are people who often get BDSM wrong as an open invitation to do whatever they want to the other person.
But true BDSM comes with a set of rules. For example, if the potential BDSM couple doesn’t communicate, they may face problems like:
- Unrealistic expectations from the relationships
- Not being aware of the pain tolerance
- Just deciding to do something with no consultation
- Not respecting the boundaries and limits
- Pushing too hard for something under the BDSM that the other person declines
- Having a fight because of disrespect
Setting your limits before the relationship even starts ensures it will go smoothly, with no conflicts at all. If you aren’t ready to have an emotional relationship with a BDSM person, tell them. If you don’t want some particular body part treated, tell them.
Still, be careful because many will lie that they’re into BDSM just to get access to what they think is easy intercourse.
Connections with no Emotions
As we said, a BDSM relationship is rarely an emotional one. It’s in the nature of BDSM to be based on sessions between the two people. Still, it requires working on the mutual trust, connection, and understanding.
Keeping the bedroom exciting and adventurous is also essential in maintaining the dynamic between partners, adding a layer of exploration and novelty to the established boundaries.
These parts of the relationships between people are quite difficult when it comes to the usual emotional relationships. But only with a direct approach and addressing these aspects on time can you ensure the BDSM relationship won’t come out from the limits you both set previously.
Dealing With Different Kind of People
One of the most common issues when in BDSM circles is the presence of fake BDSM enthusiasts. As mentioned, they get there thinking it’s the path to easy sex or even falling in love with the other person.
Knowing how to deal with such situations makes you stronger and more stable when it comes to specific real-life situations. The skill to say no to something applies at work, at home, and with your friends. It’s indeed a benefit to appreciate, especially if you know how to deal with it in BDSM settings.
The Final Line
BDSM is not for everyone. If you aren’t ready to embrace any part of it, it’s better to stick to usual dating and relationships, with no need to go further. While it requires mental and physical strength, BDSM teaches you to be respectful of everyone around you.
As a result, you can early spot fake people who only want to have some benefit, with no interest in what’s really important. Who could even know that such a controversial topic can have so many benefits for those who are open and ready to practice it?
